Oh, Myyy!

March 5, 2026

I’m not sleeping 6-8 hours in one stretch but a couple 2-3 hour naps throughout the day. I suppose I could medicate to sleep in one full stretch but the effects on my memory are scary.

Dylan and I were talking last night about how this is genetic and he will likely need testing as well. He brought up that he has always wanted to do a full-body MRI but he’s unable to. I feel like the worst mom ever because I didn’t know he couldn’t do certain scans due to metal in his body. I looked at him in utter shock, and said, “I didn’t know that”. He said, “yes you did” and explained why and when I was told initially. I didn’t remember! This time though, I think it’s the effects from the coiling in 2020. There is quite a lot during that time that is very fuzzy.

The geneticist never called yesterday and I didn’t see a new appointment loaded into MyChart so I’ll have to be prepared for a phone call today. I foresee a nap in my future after I get the call.

My manager is aware that this appointment could alter my schedule next week. I’m hoping not, but I’m curious how someone with a full-time day job can juggle everything. Sudden appointments with no alternatives given, scans that need to be done because something showed in other testing, and surprises like a positive genetics test that possibly require an altered treatment plan which means more changes in length of disability, FMLA status, and changes in surgical dates. 

It isn’t JUST the diagnosis but everything that surrounds it that is mind-numbing and feels like mental whiplash. 

Genetics at the cancer center called around 9:30am and asked me a bunch of questions that were all negative. The biggest question, from the start of this meandering trek is “do you have a family history of cancer?”. I was able to make the appointment for Tuesday the 10th in the afternoon. Maybe I can nap for a while after work before having to go to this appointment. No one should be surprised that I Googled my specific gene mutation, PLAB2, and what that means for my upcoming surgery on the 16th. 

My sister told me to put on a YouTube of singing bowls and just relax. Right, because that’s so easy to do! My greatest wish from the start was being able to relax. While not prone to anxiety on a day-to-day basis, that’s all I’ve felt for a month! I’m nearing an 18 pound weight loss, which, again, I CAN afford to lose but NOT the way I wanted to!

I woke up this afternoon because I hadn’t paid rent yet! Thankfully, today ends the grace period for my community but I still had to go get money orders. I usually pay online with every paycheck but have been so engrossed with trying to prepare for the future that I forgot the present. As I was driving out of the complex, I realized that I again forgot to put masks in the car. 

Maybe today’s blog should be entitled “I forgot” – Oh, with Katy Perry as my sponsor.

Because I prefer to be at home, I did a bunch of other errands while I was out and can cross those off the list for Saturday as I’ll likely be heading downstate to get the fridge, TV, and hospital table. Dylan also has a list of errands he needs to do downstate so it sounds like I’ll be able to share the drive!

Comfort food has been on the menu a lot lately and tonight was grilled cheese and tomato soup. It certainly hit the comfort part but it doesn’t last in terms of satiation. Maybe a midnight snack is in order.