Scan Day

February 26, 2026

I just realized that my grandcat/house panther had a birthday on the 25th and I’ve been so wrapped up with my own stuff that I forgot. Yes, I am a crazy cat lady, I love my little old lady cat and the wild panther and I don’t normally do anything except post “gotcha day” stuff but I happen to know this little man’s birthday. I know he doesn’t know, but I do. I’ll hit Dollar Tree on the way home and get him some balloons. They may scare the crap out of him, I don’t know, but it’ll be fun to watch.

It was a beautiful 12 degrees when I left for the cancer center to get my scan. I’m going to make a caveat to all future appointments, ”it must be above freezing or I’m not coming!” I’ve been home 10 hours and I’m not sure that I’ve warmed up yet. I think that the hits keep coming, and I’m likely just overwhelmed.

I think that you’ll find that your emotions will give you whiplash; I am all over the place. Facing your own mortality, even though we know it is eventually going to happen, being diagnosed with something so scary certainly spurs your mind to all the dark places. I’m not wallowing there, but those thoughts intrude far more than I’d like. 

For me, having something to focus on until the surgery is necessary. Since I’ve had a breast reduction already, I’m more aware of how that felt and how I handled it so my focus has been setting up a recovery area. After the scan this morning, I went to Menards to see, touch, and sit in the recliners they have available. This will likely be my bed for two weeks following surgery, and while I have several recliners saved on an Amazon “Recovery” wish list, I want to sit in several to get an idea of what I think will work before I order.

I hope that you will take note – setting up a Wish List – even if you never share it with anyone – helps you take control of your recovery and gives you focus beyond the diagnosis.

Just a year or so ago I bought a HUGE chaise lounge with integrated outlets and USB ports and was so excited to have that as my cocoon and I did get great use from it, but after the partial mastectomy, I could be facing challenges with lymphedema and arm numbness and getting in and out of what is essentially a twin bed in my living room. I feel that trading in Big Bertha

for a recliner with a lift feature is a solid investment. While I am in decent health for an overweight 57 year old with fibromyalgia, and other non-cancer conditions, the lift feature can be helpful to future me.

Everything just is out of my control right now and I can easily spiral and end up on a mental health leave before the surgery, but I’m trying to stay the course.

My sleep is still especially erratic and I’m doing my best to continue with my day to day routine. After I got home from my errands this morning, I took a Xanax and woke up feeling very drugged. This is the first time it’s made me feel this way since I started taking it two weeks ago. I’m likely just overwhelmed and am trying to give myself some grace. 

Work last night was very rough. To use a baseball analogy, I “hit clean up” as a part of my job duties. I am expected to finish a portion of what couldn’t be fully completed by the day shift. Most days this can be done relatively quickly but there was more than usual and after I’d e-versated with my cousin, my mind just wasn’t on doing what I needed to do. I was able to do the stuff that came in during my own shift but when it came to doing the left overs, my mind kept going elsewhere. It took me quite a long time to “catch up” with the day’s work. I’ve got 18 days before surgery and I’m thinking (hoping not though!) that I will have many more days like this before I’m off on leave. 

I believe women are conditioned to take care of everyone else and our health, our wants and needs, are put off and tacked to the end of our priority list. When I saw the NP at the surgical oncology office before my core needle biopsy, I told her that my breasts had been hurting for about a year but “I’m a girl and boobs hurt”. That old analogy about taking care of yourself first is no less apt here. When you’re on a plane and the flight attendants go over safety instructions that tell you that if the oxygen masks drop down, you are to put yours on before helping someone else, this applies here too. You simply cannot take care of anyone else, when you’re not well. Please, PLEASE, PLEASE take the time to see your doctors, do your mammograms EVERY YEAR after 40 (unless you have a family history it’s usually more often), and schedule your colonoscopy!

Unfortunately, there is an age placed on many “routine” screenings but if you’re concerned, please see your doctor. If your doctor doesn’t listen/dismisses you, find another doctor. Women haven’t been a part of regular medical trials for very long, so many doctors are not taught how to care for women; advocate for yourself. There is a Facebook/Tik Tok OB-GYN (Mary Claire Haver) that I have followed for quite a while. She has said that menopause is glossed over in medical school and she’s taken it upon herself to educate providers with options to help peri-, post- and menopausal women. Since women make up nearly half the population, and we do require different care than men, she’s also educating women on the Internet how to care for their bodies, signs and symptoms to be aware of, and options for treatment.

As a refresher on my journey so far in 2026:

February 2nd –  screening mammogram (the one everyone gets)

February 9th –   diagnostic mammogram with ultrasound (I had a substantial co-pay)

February 12th – core needle biopsy (another, even more substantial co-pay)

February 18th – biopsy results came back positive

February 24th – appointment with surgical oncologist

March 16th –     partial mastectomy/lumpectomy surgery scheduled 

This seems fast to me but somehow still not fast enough! I have also met my deductible for the year so that’s nice that this all happened at the beginning of a new year. 

While we’re discussing advocacy, my colonoscopy is scheduled for March 27th. I verified with my provider that having twilight anesthesia two weeks after general is fine. I need to call gastroenterology and let them know, as they may not feel that it’s safe. I will add a reminder to my Google calendar to call gastroenterology on Monday. Today is Thursday and if I’m awake tomorrow during “normal business hours” I will call tomorrow.

If you’re more comfortable using a paper calendar, or a planner, then do that. Just please make sure you’re taking care of yourself. My calendars, reminders, and alarms have been very helpful for years and I find myself using them more often since this whole thing began. Find a system that works for you and use it. This journey involves A LOT and you need to find a way to keep yourself organized. I’m technically only 3 weeks into this and feel overwhelmed and I’m a planner/organizer!

I also advise getting a binder (the perfect time to have a Trapper Keeper!) that can hold all the paperwork you’re given or need to have filled out and take it with you to every appointment. An accordion folder would work well here too. There is so much paperwork that you’ll get and need to have (insurance, disability, FMLA) that this can help keep you organized and less stressed! 

I’m just now realizing that when I went to Menards today, one thing I meant to grab was a high memory thumb drive to keep all my scans and reports on. See – make a list for everything!

The plan when Dylan and I moved “up north” was to move even further north so I’m aware that my current providers may not always be my providers. While most facilities have/use Epic/MyChart and therefore can utilize CareAnywhere (an electronic medical record history), there are some things that predate CareAnywhere in my medical history and having that information can be invaluable in the future just for basic health history. My colon resection was in 2000 which predates CareAnywhere by DECADES. Thankfully I was able to order the medical records from the healthcare system and I’ll have it uploaded to my current provider – sometime when I’m in a lull.