Beginning of Week 3

February 15-16, 2026

Having regular discomfort due to rubbing, I ordered Axilla Pillows that arrived Sunday February 15th. I put on one of the larger cotton bras I’d purchased and slipped in the pillow. I kept trying to adjust it so it’d stop rubbing Mel and the area next to it with the “nick” and steri-strips but it didn’t seem to help so I switched to my regular sized bra and added the pillow but decided that the pillow wasn’t really helping a whole lot so I iced the area instead. 

I’m not sure that I recommend the axilla pillows for everyone, at least at this stage. They’ll likely be helpful more for those needing or having a partial mastectomy/lumpectomy or full mastectomy. Sitting at my desk, I think a firm bolster pillow on the arm of my desk chair or the edge of my desk would have been more helpful.

I spent a lot of time in bed after the biopsy but was able to care for myself and do most things around the house. I wrote out the first few days of this journey but when I got/felt overwhelmed reliving it, I took a Xanax and went to sleep.

Because I work overnights and have for almost 8 years now, as Will Smith pontificated, “My world is flipped turned upside down” so I was up for several hours overnight and read for a little while and knit until I got tired again and went back to sleep.

Monday I was up around 7am and beginning the third week of this journey … debacle … ride; I’m not sure what to call it. And this brings me to the beginning of the fourth day after Mel – my mass has a name – was roughly cored. I was hoping that MyChart would have pathology results so I grabbed my phone and, alas, no notifications. Laying in bed wasn’t doing me good and I just needed to do something normal so I took a shower which drained every ounce of energy I’d built up so I went back to bed. As daytime is my normal sleep time, my body didn’t just take a nap but slept, however fitfully, and I woke up just in time to get a few things done around the house before I had to log-on for work.

I know that MyChart is going to notify me as soon as something new is uploaded but I continue to check it more often than I care to admit.

My body and brain are exhausted, but I also have other health conditions so exhaustion is not new for me. I do feel like I’m a lot more tired than I should be based on spending the prior 4 days in bed and doing very little. If you’re going through a similar process, please listen to YOUR body. Make sure that your employer is aware that your health situation is fluid and you may start your work day off like normal but need to leave early. Even working remotely, your workload, brainload, and recovery will fluctuate; allow yourself grace and patience.

My adult son was with me to drive home after the procedure, due to the Xanax and Ultram; you may be able to drive yourself home but know that you may need to use your non-dominant hand depending on the biopsy area and the seat belt may rub at just the wrong spot so a small pillow to adjust the seat belt are suggested, even if being driven home.

Personally, I didn’t need much help even on the same day as the procedure but having someone to grab you something to drink or switch out the ice packs was nice. Don’t discount help and don’t over extend yourself. People WANT to help, let them.

My patience is thin today, Monday February 16th, and after just two hours at work I’m ready to be done with my night. 

Tuesday is the day that my head says might realistically have some pathology results but will likely be more like Thursday. I’m still having a hard time not obsessively checking my patient portal. Like, somehow the lab will see that I’m anxious and they’ll hurry up. 

There are likely many processes that the lab needs to do, stains, freezes, division tests, etc that will take a while and we all want the full results immediately. Realistically, that isn’t possible but another Xanax after work is.

Note: I’m no longer shaking constantly with dread and fear but I am still very anxious, as I would think is expected, but I am able to function much better.

My thoughts are still scattered and I’m finding myself making more check-lists at work to make sure that I don’t forget to do something important.

Again, give yourself grace and if you need to take time off work, you should do so! Make sure that you fill out FMLA paperwork if your company is large enough to have this federal benefit.

As a single mom since my son was 6-months old, I always feel fiscally behind and want to pad my paycheck with whatever time I can get. My disability pay isn’t much and though I “bought up” it’s just a fraction more than if I didn’t. Lets face it, people barely make ends meet on 100% of their pay!

My PCP was willing to write me off as needed, but until there is a definitive diagnosis, he didn’t want to fill out the FMLA paperwork. I also work for a great manager (and I’ve worked for some that are downright horrible – erm, Mel for instance) but please use YOUR judgement when talking with your manager, HR, and other company representatives. It’s your diagnosis and your journey. If you’re not comfortable telling them exactly, tell them in broad strokes … “I am being tested for some potentially serious health issues” is sufficient and by law, they’re not allowed to ask; especially with a doctor’s note.

I find it very interesting that insurance companies can deny necessary procedures ordered by a physician but companies are not allowed to probe into their employee’s health when that same physician says they’re unable to work. Maybe too political a take but I find it incongruent.